I remember not being intimidated by turning 40. In fact I would hashtag #40isthenew20.
There was a sense of freedom that came from me turning 40. I had already lived so much life.
I had been a mother of 4 for 22 years, and my youngest, sweet baby boy was off to kindergarten. The first time in 22 years I wouldn't have a child home with me #FREEDOMDAY
I vividly recall many asking me if I “ would work more” while I love my job as a hair stylist, my answer was always consistent “ I don’t know. What I do know is, I plan to sleep and read for the first year”.
Having my youngest in half day kindergarten didn’t leave much time for either. I was lucky if I got a quick workout in or a few chores done around the house before my lil man arrived home, sliding into home base like he was about to single handily win the word series. Every. Day!
On to year 41 I went….and when I say it came in hot, I mean HOTT. Two T’s because it was that serious!
We are talking about THE year. 2020, the worst year of all the worstest years EVER!
The year of so many changes in so may ways.
The year of COVID. The year my sixteen year marriage fell apart. The year I realized I was living in a world of modern day lynching . The year my younger 2 children transitioned from private school to public school. The year politics made me feel real shame for being an American. The year I moved into my own apartment. THE YEAR I WAS FORCED TO BE A TEACHER! The year I realized Love wasn't what society told me. The year I finally understood an old hippies simple words of wisdom, " Don't let people mess you up about God, let God straighten you out about people". The year I feared to walk outside my home because I was told I could die, or worse I would give my children a deadly virus. The year everything I knew in life shattered into pieces. Can anyone relate?
Also, the year I found Beauty in my brokenness. The year I learned not only God loves me and accepts me in all my messiness, He chases after that hot mess!
The year I found peace, Joy, & truth. The year I found me..Which brought me here. Somewhere in-between tremendous growth and utter regret.
Let me be completely transparent, I am not a writer!
However, what you will find within “ Beautifully Broken”
Is my heart, my faith, and the reason I’ve marked this year, 2020 the year to “ Just Breathe”.
"Those eggshells you walk on to keep the peace only get louder, the more you avoid why you have to walk on them in the first place. Sweep them up, pour them in the middle of the room, and refuse to ever bend to someone else's breaking ever again. Even your OWN. You're bigger than the trauma that you learned to walk around, for fear you may
wake a monster you know well. Walk straight through it, babe. It is the only way." - Stephanie Bennett-Henry
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